#GOOD SLAP HOORAY

[mintypsii]

horohorohorohoro👻

[livelaughlovesubs]

Nini I want to fuck a demon boy so bad I can't. I'm so sleep deprived and this is the only thing on my mind. The idea of this powerful demon who's not used to being challenged, just ending up ass up face down on the floor, bed WHEREVER. It's not important. Ending up like that is just peak. Also I like to think they'd have sensitive tails. So. Like. I totally.

Wanna make them fuck themselves with their own tail. I think that'd be great. I think it would be awesome.

I want them to get so flustered at the idea of doing it, but do it anyway just coz I told them to. I can almost imagine them finding their own prostate with their tail, and really they can't decide which sensation to focus on. Feeling themselves clench around their own tail, or the way the slightly pointed end slams into their prostate. And bonus points if they cum and you overstim them by grabbing their tail and fucking them so much harder than they could themselves. Hooray, now they've got

your hand around their already much too sensitive tail

said sensitive tail is being slammed into their ass

it's gotta feel so good, they'd probably be so tight around themselves

your hand is gonna slip a few times, which is gonna end up in stroking their tail, which has got to feel like heaven for them

not to forget that you're thrusting their tails directly onto their prostate without letting them breathe

I just. I don't know. I think they'd look so pretty, flushed and begging to stop, even though it's them that keeps weakly trying to thrust their tail back into themselves. Also, they'd look so pathetic, sobbing from the overstimulation. I'm a sucker for tears trailing down their faces, eyes red and a little puffy. It'd almost make you wanna be nice to them. Almost.

But yknow, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And sometimes what a girl's gotta do is fuck a demon stupid with their own tail. (I don't have the same way with words as some people, but like do you see the vision)

~a sleep deprived,🧁anon

You are so smart holy shit. You don’t give yourself enough credit. Fucking a demon with their own tail? Why didn’t I think of something as great as this??! Lemme write down my thoughts for a sec- (btw I thought you are like, very religious?)

Dom!reader x sub!character

You had a long day behind you, and there was nothing sweeter than the thought of finally getting some sleep. All you wanted was to have a good rest, but to your demise you woke up in the middle of the night with something heavy on top of you. “Ops, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Oh well this will do too.” What the hell? It was a fucking person?? First thing you did was push him off of you and turning on the lights, then you thought this was some kind of weird joke. He had two horns growing out of his forehead, as well as a super long tail with a heart shaped tip. Not to mention the pink, glowing tattoo on his pelvis. When he opened his mouth again, you thought you didn’t hear right. “I’m an incubus, pleasant to meet you~ now let me feast on you, pretty please?”

An incubus, so, in other words a demon. What in the- never mind. He said he wanted to feast on you? Heck no, he woke you up in the middle of the night and is expecting you to have the energy to fuck him? As soon as he got up to try make a move on you, you flipped him over and tangled your hand in his hair, then pressed his face into your pillow. “If you are that desperate do it yourself.” Of course that little slut was into that.

He reached for his dick, but you slapped his hand away and instead grabbed his tail. “MhMngh- aaAAHhnn~!” A surprised yet blissful moan escaped him, face all red as lust fills their already sinful body. Anticipation swelling inside them at the thought of what you might do with them. That’s when they felt their own tail poking against their butt… wait wha? In the mean time you stroked it gently while whispering, “I want to watch you fuck yourself, who knows, I might reward you afterwards.” Suddenly all their previous confidence vanished as embarrassment took over. With their own tail..?? How did you even get that idea! Not even something as perverted as them had such outrageous ideas..!

In the end they could only obey without protesting, trusting their already super sensitive tail into their tight, wet hole. Each time they accidentally hit their prostate, they’d yelp and whimpers. Pretty tears are already rolling down their even prettier faces. Eyes half lidded as they whine, “mhm! Ah-ahhHh.. nghHnn~!!” All while their poor, useless dick is twitching around on its own, making a mess everywhere <3

Gojo, Sukuna, Dazai, Fyodor, Nikolai, jouno, Scaramouch, Kaeya, lyney, Ayato, Aventurine, Sampo, Jing Yuan (?), Douma - your favourites

[haetrack]

[08:27]

haechan x afab!reader

warnings: lazy morning sex, ‘just the tip’ turned into thigh fucking, kinda messy sex, whiny haechan (HOORAY!)

you’re awakened by the harsh sun blaring through your window. it’s too bright, the room too warm, and your body too hot under the covers of your blanket. not to mention how your boyfriend is wrapped tightly around your body.

he’s warm, face tucked into your shoulder, arms wrapped around you and legs messily intertwined with yours. if it were cold outside, you’d appreciate how warm his body is, maybe even snuggle up closer to him if it were possible.

but today, you have to slightly push him away from you in order to uncover yourself from the blankets. the thing is, he doesn’t budge, coming to the realization you’ll just have to wake him up.

because he’s hugging your back, you have no option but to kick at his legs until he wakes up. with limited movement, you do wake him up, immediately being greeted with a groan.

the first half of haechan’s sentence is mumbled into your shoulder, “…are we awake so early in the morning…”

“it’s too hot,” you mumble back, “you’re making me too hot.”

he gives no response, snuggling his face into your shoulder as he presses into you. you let out a soft whine, and you can feel the smile on his face against you. “thanks for calling me hot.”

you grumble as you try to detach yourself from him. the only problem is that haechan can feel you squirming against him, your ass pressing into his growing cock. he lightly slaps your thigh in warning, “stop moving s’ much, baby.”

you ignore him, trying to move away while he’s still holding you against him. you hear him suck in a sharp breath, deciding to hold onto your hips tightly, keeping you against his hard cock.

he hums, “don’t you think it’s too early to start something?”

you sigh, “wasn’t even trying to start anything. you’re just too horny for your own good.”

he lets out a soft laugh, slowly rocking his hips into your own. you whine, burying your face into the pillows. he whispers in your ear, “please let me fuck you, wanna fuck your pretty hole.”

you nod slowly, hearing him so desperate this early in the morning overrides your sleepiness. he slides your bottoms and underwear down, fingers moving to your wet entrance. he’s breathing heavily behind you, affected by your neediness.

he slips two fingers inside, immediately wrapped around your warm walls and slick. you huff into the pillow while haechan presses wet kisses onto your shoulders. you’re grinding your hips back against him, silently asking for more.

it’s quiet in the room save for the heavy breaths and whines mixed in with the squelch of your cunt. you can feel the heat of haechan against your body, his cock rutting into your thigh. in a breathy voice, he asks, “please, please. need you wrapped around me, wanna fuck you so bad.”

you contemplate over what you should do. you do want to fuck him, but it’s too early, still too hot, and you’re still half asleep. coming to an answer, you whine out, “just the tip. please, wanna feel you inside me.”

he lets out a shaky laugh, moving to pull his boxers down. you can feel his cock press against your ass before he lines himself up at your entrance. “gonna fill up your tight hole, gonna have you begging for more.”

you let out a small whimper of his name, pressing closer to him. even though you can’t see his face, you can clearly tell he’s smirking with pretty blush across his face.

he sucks harshly at the skin of you shoulder as he slides his tip past your entrance. he shivers, your tight pussy clenching around his sensitive tip. it’s taking every muscle in his body to not push his cock into your warmth. his body is screaming at him to calm down, but he can’t help the loud whines that come out of him.

he tries not to move too much, hips shallowly pushing into yours as he tries to hold back the moans that threaten to slip out. he can see how your hand has moved up to your chest, groping at your boob. his mind feels hazy, pussy drunk mixed with his sleepiness only adding onto his sensitivity.

he’s not thinking when he slips out of you to find a better position that makes him not almost cum immediately. when he tries to push back into you, his cock slips into the apex of your thighs, your slick causing him to miss your hole.

he lets out a loud whimper, his cock wrapped around the heat of your thighs and wetness coating his cock. his hips begin to move on their own while you adjust to the feeling of him fucking your thighs.

you can feel the tip of his cock hit your clit, making your thighs close tightly around him. his hips stutter against you, moans of your name filling the air. “your thighs feel so good- fuck- why does it feel so good?”

you’re clenching around nothing, dangerously close to cumming from the fact that your boyfriend is using your thighs to get off. he’s a mess behind you, sounding almost as if he’s crying.

haechan feels almost dizzy, realizing that you’re just laying there and taking what he’s giving you. he moves as fast as he can at eight in the morning against you, feels your pretty pussy leak out more slick for him to help fuck against you easier.

he’s so close, a tight grip on you in one hand while a shaky hand reaches for your clit. “wanna make a mess between your thighs, wanna see my cum all over you.”

you moan out his name, your hand moving over to his on your clit and helping him get you off. you can feel how messy it is, your slick and his precum mixing together in between the heat of your thighs. you have to forcibly move his fingers against you, he’s too distracted with the thought of cumming so messily like this.

“tell me,” you say softly, “ask me to let you cum…”

he groans out a fuck and slows his hips down. “just need- god, need to cum. baby, please let me cum all over you?”

you give him a small nod, reaching over to give him a soft kiss. he has to lean up to kiss you, but once he does, he can see how his tip peaks out from between your thighs. he lets out a high whimper as he thrusts hard in between your thighs.

you know he’s close, lightly cooing at the state of your boyfriend as you clench your thighs together, squeezing them around his cock. he bucks up into it, spurts of his cum leaking out over your thighs and over your cunt. you can feel him twitching, haechan trying to ride out his orgasm.

he doesn’t move afterwards, and you’re almost sure he’s fallen back asleep. you almost do too before you can feel him move one of your legs open, watching him look at the mess he’s made. he almost wants to take a picture, wanting to keep this in his mind forever.

he slowly moves to slot himself between your legs, eyes boring into yours, “can i clean you up? i’ll-” he sucks in a breath, mind moving too fast, “i’ll make you cum all over my tongue- please.”

even if you’re still tired, you can’t push away the brightness of your boyfriend away from you.

[rigby-oconnell]

Time out.

A/N: First post! Hooray! This is very much inspired by the works of @reneesghostinthelivingroom Check out their page because it's amazing!

Poly!Plastics x reader

Regina gets put in a timeout for her rudeness and attitude. 

 

It's another day at Northshore High’s library, with your girls, Janis, Cady and Damien. You all were supposed to be working on homework but just talked the entire study hall period. Regina's tongue has been sharper than ever. She's been tossing insults like confetti, her attitude dialed up to ten. But when she snaps at Janis, crossing a line with a particularly snarky comment paired with a slur, it’s the final straw.

“Alright, Regina,” you say firmly, hands on your hips. “That’s enough. Timeout for you.”

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Seriously? What are you, my mom?”

You raise an eyebrow, completely unfazed. “Yes, and you need a break to think about your words.” You gesture towards the corner of the room. “Timeout. Now.”

Regina hesitates, looking to Gretchen and Karen for support. But Gretchen, without missing a beat, strides over and snatches Regina’s phone from her hand with surprising boldness. “Yeah,  and no phone in timeout. You need to, like, reflect,” she says in her gentle but firm way.

Regina’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Gretchen! Give that back! You guys can’t be serious.”

Gretchen shrugs apologetically, holding the phone out of reach. 

 “Sorry, Regina. Y/N’s right—you’ve been… kinda rude. Even I know not to say that.” Karen says with a look of disappointment.  

“Gina, go now,” You said pointing to a chair in the corner of the library.  

Regian gives a displeased look crossing her arms and making no effort to move. 

“5…” 

She leans back and kicks her feet up on the table 

“4…” 

She ignores you and starts to check out her nails 

“3…” 

“Don't be a brat, Gina. It's this or she punishes you later…” Karen said in her ear. 

“2…” You said staring into her eyes 

With a groan Regina reluctantly slinks over to the corner, arms crossed and pouting. Damien can barely hold back a laugh, and Janis smirks approvingly, obviously pleased to see someone else putting Regina in her place. Regina huffs, flipping her hair dramatically, but she grudgingly goes to the timeout spot and sits down with her arms crossed, glowering at you.

"Good choice," you say, trying not to laugh. She shoots dagger glares your way every so often, but without her phone to distract her, she’s forced to just sit there… and think.

After a few minutes, you walk over, arms still crossed, and look her in the eye. “Are you ready to apologize now?”

“What!” She quickly sits up “You never said anything about apologizing!”  

You cross my arms with a look daring her to challenge me. She rolls her eyes and drags her feet over towards the others. She stops by Janis, letting out a loud and dramatic sigh making her process known. “sorry…” she mumbles under her breath.  

“And???” You say behind her  

“And what.” she sasses turning back to you with an annoyed look. But she is met with a swift slap on the ass. “Ow! And I won’t say it again!” she took a seat grumbling arms crossed

“Apology accepted,” Janis said laughing. With an approving nod, you signal to Gretchen, who gives her back the phone. Regina shoots you a furious look.

Please comment and reblog! I'd love to get input back from the audience.

Lots of Love,

Rigby🌱

[scream4ash]

lover.

amber freeman x gp! reader

warnings: smut 18+; top! amber; r has a dick (a big one 😱); praise kink; tiny bit of slapping; amber’s kinda mean (she’s a cutie tho.); r’s a nerd.

summary: fwb, but u get together. (yay for a happy ending!!)

a/n: this is ass, i’m sorry. work n studying has been killing me. (hooray for dropping out.)

explicit sexual content below. mdni.

no strings attached.

that was the one thing u had hated about this little ‘arrangement.’

it was so hard to push ur feelings for amber down. especially when she straddled ur lap, grinding against ur bulge, making the prettiest noises.

u keep telling urself that you’d tell her how u felt, yet u never got the chance. not until now. it was now or never.

“amber, amb. just..” u paused for a moment, the nickname rolling off of ur tongue so easily. “hold on for a second, please?” u sounded so shy, small even. ur eyes refused to meet hers, settling to dart around nervously instead.

“what’s so important that we had to stop.. this?” she muttered against ur lips, a teasing smirk on her lips. her eyes were darkened with lust, pupils blown in desperation.

“u know our uh.. agreement?” ur voice was shaky almost, so different from the usual, firm, strong tone u maintained.

“what?”

“i think i’m in love with you, amber.” you spoke fast, nervous. your voice was shaky, hands falling from your grip on her waist.

“oh.” her voice was calm, too calm. “well.”

“i- i know we said no strings attached, and i’m sorry i didn-“

you were cut off by a pair of lips on yours, her hands tangling into your hair. “what made u think i wasn’t into u?” her eyebrows are furrowed, hands moving to cup your face. “why else would i stick around after we fuck? you really think i’d let you hold me if i didn’t like you?” a small chuckle escapes her lips, and she presses a small kiss against your cheek.

your gaze moves to meet hers again, a small smile on your face. “really?” your eyebrows knit together in confusion, hands moving to grab her waist. “you’re not fucking with me?”

“of course not. you’re cute. and you’re actually not that bad. you’re a fucking nerd, but it’s cute. i like it.” her thumb caressed your cheek softly, lovingly.

“oh, well.. i-..” a soft blush painted your cheeks, trying your best to stutter out a response.

“don’t get all shy on me. c’mon, y/n.”

you press your lips against hers, kissing her softly. you feel her hands lace into your hair, deepening the kiss. she tugs your hair, making you whimper. you feel her smile against your lips, slipping her tongue into your mouth.

she grinds against the forming bulge in your lap, pulling away for a moment. “someone’s excited.” she says against your lips with a teasing giggle.

a small whine escapes your lips, your forehead pressed against hers. she continues to grind against your hardening cock, taking off her shirt, revealing her perfect tits. she guides you to her nipple by the back of your head, her grip on your hair tighter.

“suck,” she demands.

you wrap your lips around her nipple, bringing your hand to give some attention to her neglected nipple. you suck gently, rolling your tongue around the bud. her breath came out in short pants, whispered praises slipping from her pretty lips.

“you’re doing so good for me. suck harder, don’t be shy, baby.” she tugged on your hair again, holding your head in place. you do as your told, moaning around her nipple.

she pulls you into a heated kiss, continuing to grind against you. she trails soft kisses along your jawline, making sure to leave a mark or two. she takes your sweater off, fumbling with your belt.

“my pretty girl.. so hard for me, hm?” she takes off your pants, dragging your boxers down with her teeth. she wraps her hand around your cock, pumping it slowly.

“fu-“ your words are cut off by a moan as you feel her lips wrap around the head of your cock. she sucks the head of your cock, her head bobbing up and down. she looks up at you with teary eyes, pulling away with a gasp. she strokes your cock faster now, coating it with saliva.

“amber, stop teasing me.. don’t be an ass..”

your immediately cut off by a sharp slap on your inner thigh, her eyebrows knitted together.

“don’t get bossy,” she says, hand tightening around your cock. “watch your fucking tone, hm?”

you nod, moaning at her touch. she lets go of your cock, straddling you. she takes off her loose sweats, revealing that she wasn’t wearing any panties.

your hand moves to touch her pretty cunt, your thumb gently rubbing at her clit. you push two fingers into her, almost moaning at the feeling of her around you. “you’re soaking, amb. i do this to you?”

she moans, her eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“don’t be shy, baby. i’m yours, yeah? treat me like it,” she gasped out, her hips moving to ride your fingers. “feel that? feel how tight i am? how wet you make me?” her words are teasing, a wide smile of her face.

she pulls your hand away in an instant, guiding your cock to her waiting hole.

“amber, please,” you pleaded with her, begging. your eyes wide with lust, locked onto her cunt hovering about your cock.

she uses her free hand to smack your thigh again, trailing her hand up your body. “i need those pretty eyes on mine, you hear me?,” she said with a newfound dominance in her tone. how could she be so sweet but so mean at the same time. her fingers loosely wrap around your throat, urging your eyes to snap up to hers.

“amber please. i wanna feel you,” you pleaded for any kind of attention, your cock leaking precum. she sinks down on your cock, her cunt clenching tightly around you. her lips break into a wide smile, her forehead resting against yours.

“you’re so big, baby. filling me up s’ good. such a good girl for me.,” she stutters through moans, starting to ride you. she bounces up and down on your cock, occasionally rolling her hips. “oh, you like that? you like being my good girl, yeah?,” she smiles again seeing how you moan at the praise. she tugs your hair, making your eyes snap open to meet hers. “keep your eyes on me, y/n. you can do it. such a good girl for me.”

“amber.. fuckfuckfuck. you’re so-“ she cuts you off by locking her lips with yours, bringing you into a passionate kiss. she pulls away, moaning loudly. you feel her cunt tighten around you, your thighs trembling slightly.

you grab her hips, fucking up into her. your cock twitches, letting her know that your close. “amber, amb. ‘m gonna cum.. wanna fill you up.. please,” you begged, your voice sounded of a high pitched whine.

“oh? you’re just sooo needy, hm?” she teased. “gonna cum with me? i want you to come with me. fill me up, baby.” her cunt tightened around your cock, her eyes closing in pleasure. her orgasm washed over her, her movements slowing down just a bit.

you came soon after her, holding her hips with a vice-like grip. you whined, hips bucking, thighs shaking uncontrollably. thick, white ropes of cum shot into her pussy, filling her up, just as she’d told you to do.

“did so good for me, baby..” she praises quietly, helping you ride out your orgasm. “such a good, good girl. made me feel so good.” her hands stroke your cheeks lovingly as she dismounts your softening cock, admiring the white ring of her cum at the base.

she presses soft kisses to your cheeks, her hands tracing small patterns against your ribcage.

“i love you, amber.”

“i love you, y/n,” she whispered back, tucking her face into the crook of her neck. her fingers scratched your scalp lightly in attempt to soothe you to sleep, basking in the afterglow of her newfound lover.

a/n: i didn’t know how to end it. i hate it.

[cityofmeliora]

Terzo messing with monitor engineer Simon Hutchby 😜

before Monstrance Clock, Simon would come to the stage to take Terzo's microphone stand away, and Terzo loved to embarrass him in front of the audience.

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yes, I almost forgot about that. Someone needs to take a stand, right? Oh, by the way! Please, Oslo, meet Simon Hutchby! Listen, unfortunately, this will be his last night with us because he's joining the Chippendales in Drammen. So- but you will be missed! Unh! [SLAPS SIMON'S ASS] Give it up for Hutchby! Hip-hip! Oslo, Norway (November 12, 2015)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Are you ready for another song? Yeah. You don't have anything better to do on a Friday night, right? Oh, but speaking of someone who has something better to do- Give it up for Simon Hutchby, our monitor tech– monitor engineer. And he's looking to– he's following his calling, so he's joining a male strip bar in, what is it, Södertälje? Something like that. So this is gonna be his last night with us, regrettably. But to sort of kicking him in the right way, give it up for Simon Hutchby! Hip-hip! Stockholm, Sweden (November 13, 2015)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames and messieurs, this is Simon Hutchby! He's our monitor engineer, and a really good thing is that his divorce papers finally got through today, so he's finally a free man! Give it up for Simon Hutchby! Hip-hip! [AUDIENCE: HOORAY!] Yeah! You're ours now, forever! Geneva, Switzerland (November 19, 2015)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Ladies and genitals of Madrid, please meet Simon Hutchby! This is our monitor engineer. Yes. He finally got his divorce through today, and we're all very happy about that. So give it up for Simon Hutchby and his divorced wife! Hip-hip! [AUDIENCE: HOORAY!] Freedom! He's ours forever now! Madrid, Spain, (November 25, 2015)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Children of Netherlands, please give it up for Simon Hutchby! Yes, yes. Unfortunately, this is gonna be his last night with us because taking on a job at –what was it– you're making a butt plug factory at Hilversum or something like that? Yes. I'm sad to see you go, man. But you– you'll find something valuable to do there and you will– yes. But, please, Simon Hutchby! Hip-hip! [AUDIENCE: HOORAY!] Hooray for Hilversum. Utrecht, Netherlands (December 5, 2015)

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Rocky Wrench

Debut: Super Mario Bros. 3

Get a load of this guy! A recurring enemy, debuting in one of the most beloved games, and major enough to even get a LEGO version... and he's over here as if he's Weird. Well he is! Weird is relative! You might think a goat is a normal animal, but if you do, you have clearly forgotten that they effortlessly climb trees and steep slopes, with hooves. Weird is all around us, and if you find yourself growing jaded to it, remember a Fun Fact to mentally slap some sense back into yourself.

Rocky Wrench is not rocky, and he is not a wrench, either! He is manholey and throws wrenches. On first glance, he looks like a turtley mole, but we are commonly assured that he is ACTUALLY a moley turtle. Strange! This is not a mere mole with a shell, this is a turtle with a cartilaginous nose and teeth and presumably fur. Even if he is truly a turtle, the design is pleasantly mole-like, with the claws, snout, and teeth! This is a guy who would love to bite an earthworm, and who would be very good at it. He would NOT eat a vegetable.

Huhwhuh! What's going on! They turned Rocky Wrench into a guy who would eat a vegetable, and relish every nibble! One of the most egregious parts of New Super Mario Bros. Wii's new standardized art direction is that Rocky Wrench's original design was just entirely lost. This is, obviously, just Monty Mole wearing goggles! And I like Monty Mole, but when I am in the mood for Monty Mole, I can look at Monty Mole. This is not even a turtle by ANY measure now. It's almost a cruel joke now, having a rodent enemy with "mole" in its name, and redesigning the actually mole-looking enemy to be an identical rodent. Gophers and moles can coexist! We all dig for our own reasons. Isn't that something to celebrate? We would, at least, get a true talpid later in Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker.

But some never gave up hope. Remember this? Have you seen this? It's good. It's Super Mario Odyssey concept art for the Broodals, if they were to use existing enemy species for the characters! Even in the middle of the Rocky Rodent Era, there were people at Nintendo who thought, "let's use the old Rocky Wrench design again". Here, Rango would have been a tall Rench (Rocky + Wrench. I know it doesn't really work. Sorry) wearing a spiky squash for a hat! Not very fashionable, but bold. And certainly easier to wear than a whole manhole cover! Rocky Wrench would continue to be portrayed as a rodent for years, including in Mario Kart Tour, where he even got a Mii costume! Was this all a ploy to become marketable?

But then, something happened.

Last year, we received the trailer for the final wave of the The Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Game For Nintendo Switch Systems' Booster Course Pass DLC Content. And we all noticed something strange. Something different.

Holy moley! The guy in that hole looks moley! Suddenly, to the surprise of everyone, Rocky Wrench was re-redesigned, now resembling the one that I assume people in 1988 fell in love with. I don't know. I wasn't there. But wow! We don't know why they decided to do this, but we're all happy they did! More visual variety in enemies is always better than less! It's especially weird considering the very same track in Tour had the Monty-like design, but I'm not complaining, I'm celebrating!

Looking at Super Mario Party Jamboree, it's clear that, at least for now, Mole-Like Rocky Wrench is here to stay. And hooray for that. Cheers, even. He completely changed his presentation for mass appeal, and now he's going back to being himself, unashamed! Be like Rocky Wrench! Express yourself while simultaneously hiding in a hole.

[punktactical]

i NEED a fic when the reader is ace or sabo's gf, but the reader is banging Garp behind their backs :33

With dirty talk, degradatior or whatever u want

ANGEL , sabo + garp

summary ; sabo loves his girlfriend! she could never do anything wrong ! unless . . . ?

warnings ; 18+ content , older man-younger woman , cuckholding , smut , slight degradation.

a/n ; my first completed request !!! hooray , thank you for requesting !! x))

★

★

sabo loved you, his sweet, precious girlfriend.

you were an angel, an absolute sweetheart. you did no wrong, in his eyes. i mean, the way you looked at his grandpa couldn't mean anything, right?

you were gorgeous, ethereal. everyone could agree, even garp !

he loved caressing your body, holding it close, encasing it under his own. but, where did those marks come from ? he doesn't recall giving them to you.

sex with you is passionate. you're always so excited. recently though, you seem so bored ! is sabo not good enough for you anymore ? or is there something else you're craving ?

. . . someone else ?

★

sabo jingled the keys in his hand, humming a small tune. he was excited to see you, but you didn't know, it was a surprise! he was going to enter your home without you knowing and surprise you! he smiled at the thought of seeing you, shocked by his sudden appearance, but not unhappy.

he closed in on your front door, pushing the keys into the slot. he could hear you from your room upstairs, yelling. maybe at one of your tv shows or games. you always got so riled up! laughing, he finally pushes the door open, before shutting it behind him. finally inside of the house, he can hear another voice.

it's gruff and low, much more raspy.

it's familiar but he can't put his finger on it. he shrugs it off as one of the character's from your favorite show. creeping up the stairs, he snickers, thinking about how you'll shriek upon him arrival.

the voices become louder the closer he gets to your room, he can't understand what they're saying as the sound of skin slapping drowns it out. banging on the walls resonate throughout the house.

man, what was your show even about?

he finally reached your room, placing his hand on the doorknob. he couldn't wait to see you. his girlfriend.

his sweet, precious girlfriend.

he turns the knob, the door opens.

"hah- it feels s'good!! want yer cum s'bad!"

heart dropping alongside his jaw, sabo is forced to witness the horrifying sight of his grandfather, garp, railing his sweet, precious girlfriend, [y/n], from behind, balls deep inside of her. the bed rocked back and forth, hitting the wall repeatedly.

did the door opening stop you? no, it only fueled the both of you more.

"b- baby? ah, i didn't know you'd be- visiting, fuck!"

you currently had your ass in the air, while your head was being pulled by your hair, garp's rough hand trapping it into a forceful ponytail.

your face was stained with tears, mascara runny and lips puffy, pink -

. . . sabo always loved that expression.

"shit, ya enjoyin' the view, sabo? come get a closer look, boy- fuck." garp growls, grabbing you by your neck and displaying your nude body to sabo. you whimpered, looking him straight in the eyes, never breaking eye contact. he could see garp's cock pumping in and out of you, a white creamy ring surrounding the base of his dick.

sabo breathed heavily, sweat running down his cheek. why did his pants feel so fucking tight? this should be disgusting, enjoying- watching his grandfather fucking the brains out of his girlfriend.

what could he do? the only thing he could do  . . .

his hand traveled to his crotch, rubbing his dick through his pants.

he couldn't help taking a step closer, finally unzipping his pants and freeing his cock. the tip was red, already leaking with precum. garp grinned, stretching you deeper. shrieking in delight, you wriggle in his grip. sabo's hand grasps his dick, pumping slowly. was he gross? was he sick?

to be getting off to the sight of his girlfriend being fucked by another man, even worse, his grandpa?

"ya like that, huh? you like this fat cock fuckin' ya good right in front of yer boyfriend? dirty little whore- shit."

such degrading words, sabo would've never dreamed of saying those things to you -

his sweet

precious

girlfriend.

( who was secretly sleeping with his grandpa - woohoo ! )

★

[phantompanties]

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

We're Gonna Need A Taller Shower

Pairings: incubus oc (Lucius) x fem!reader

Tags: Shower sex, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, inappropriate use of showerhead, morning sex, dorks in love, soft domming, local tall ass demon hates human showers

Length: 1.6k words

The blaring of your alarm woke you up from your blissful slumber, and you groaned, cracking your bleary eyes open. Sighing, you slapped your hand on the machine, shutting up its infernal screaming.

You sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and yawning. You wanted nothing more than to go back to bed, but those bills weren’t gonna pay themselves. You forced your groggy body out of bed to trudge like a zombie to the shower and get the blood pumping through your veins.

Well, at least you were until two strong arms circled around your waist and pulled you into a solid chest. “Good morning my beautiful darling.” a deep voice sang. How was your rest? Did you have dreams? Were they nice dreams?”

“Mmnh… Lucius…” you yawn. “How can you be so peppy so early…?”

“I don’t sleep, darling. Well, at least I don’t need to. I get all my energy from delicious humans like you.” he said, swaying you side to side like a ragdoll. “That doesn’t mean I don’t like to cuddle, though.”

“That’s nice, Lucius… can you let me go? I need to shower…”

“Ooohh, sexy.” he teases, purring in your ear. You just rolled your eyes. “To get clean, Lucius. Now lemme go.”

“Aww… okay…” the demon pouts, relinquishing you. For an eldritch monster, he could be strangely adorable sometimes.

You slipped into the bathroom with your towel, hanging it on the rack and peeling off your jammies. Once nude, you turned on the water and waited for it to heat up.

“Mind if I join you, my darling?” Lucius’s deep voice startled you.

“Jesus, Lucius! Stop sneaking up on me!” you say, playfully slapping his chest.

“Sorry!” Lucius laughs. “I didn’t mean to! Goodness, if you aren’t cute when you jump, though…”

You snorted. “Yeah, you can join. It’d save money on the water bill.”

“Hooray!” Lucius sings, excitedly stripping off his tight clothes.

“You’re such a dork.” you giggled, stepping into the now warm water.

When Lucius joined, he immediately tutted in disappointment. “Asmodeus, I’m always reminded why I hate human showers when I get in them.”

“Why’s that?” you ask, drenching your hair.

“I’m seven feet tall, darling. Most humans are much shorter than me.”

“Some humans are seven feet tall,” you tell him.

“Some, but not most. And it shows in how low your human world showerheads are.”

“Are hell showers really big?”

“You’d be surprised, darling. To you, it’d be like standing in the rain. Boiling hot rain. That’s another thing too, the water is always so cold! I’ll never get used to how low human’s heat tolerance is.”

“Oh yeah?” you ask as you pour a good amount of shampoo into your hand and start massaging it into your hair. “I’m surprised there are even showers in hell. I thought it was all fire and brimstone.”

“Do humans still believe that? Some things never change… hell is more of a structured society than you’d think.”

“Amazing.”

“Do you want me to wash your back, darling?” he asks with that flirty lilt in his voice.

“Go ahead.” you humour him.

Lucius took the washcloth, pouring a good amount of body wash into it and scrubbing your back in circles from the top to the bottom, dipping dangerously close to your butt.

“Lucius,” you playfully warn.

“Aww, come on, darling… you know I can’t keep my hands off your cute ass.”

“I know, I know, I’m just playing.”

You squealed as Lucius smacked your butt, giggling as he pulled you by the hips into his body. You tilted your head up, and he craned his neck forward, grinning at you and placing a kiss on your lips. It started innocent, but the kiss quickly became deeper with him slipping his tongue in your mouth and massaging yours with his tongue piercing. His clawed hands roamed your body, slipping up and down your creamy skin thanks to the water. He groped your supple breast with one hand and had his other splayed across your tummy.

“Is this alright, beautiful?” he whispers against your lips. “Do you want to continue?”

God, he had such an effect on you. Is it due to his nature as a sex demon? Who knows. Who cares, either?

“Yes,” you whisper back. Lucius went back to capturing your lips and rubbing up and down your body, his skilled fingers leaving trails of fire burning hotter than the hot water spraying across your bodies. The slender digits travelled lower and lower, teasing your folds.

“Mmh… you’re already so wet… and I don’t think it’s just the water, bunny…”

“Lucius…” you whined softly.

“Shhh… I got you, angel… mmh… do you want my fingers inside you? Do you want my fingers inside your pretty pussy, bunny?”

You rocked your hips against the hand teasing your folds. “Please… need you…”

“I’ll give you what you want, bunny… just a moment…” Lucius retracted his claws into blunt fingernails for your safety, then stroked up and down your folds with extra attention to your clit.

Lucius’s tattoos began to glow brighter as you moaned against his touch, feeding off of that delicious lust you were giving off. “Yes… give it to me, baby… oh, it tastes so sweet…” he whispers into your ear.

You gasped as two of his fingers slipped into your hole and began scissoring against that sweet spongey spot that made your toes curl.

“Lucius… mmnhh…” you whine.

“Oh, I know, darling… it feels so good, doesn’t it? You love my fingers… you’re already squeezing them…”

Lucius bent his head down to kiss your neck, but he groaned in annoyance when one of his tall horns bumped the too-low showerhead that hung above you. 

���Cursed low-hanging human world showerheads…” he grumbles. But that’s when an idea came to him. He noticed that your showerhead was in fact, one of those handheld ones, and he grinned devilishly.

“Darling…” he says, slipping his fingers from your hole. You whined at the loss, but he kissed you quickly. “I promise you’ll love this so much more… let’s turn around…”

Awkwardly, the two of you turned so the spray of water was hitting his back. That’s when he reached behind him, unhooking the showerhead from the wall and spraying down your body. It was then that you realized what he was doing, and the thought made you moan.

“Do you know what I’m gonna do with this, darling?” he whispers. “Ooh, I can taste how aroused you are… have you done this to yourself before? Oh, how I wish I could’ve seen that…”

“Lucius… please…” you whined.

Lucius kissed your neck as he lowered the spray down between your legs, angling the pressure right on your clit. You gasped, mewling at the feeling of the water massaging the bundle of nerves. “Luciuuuuss!” you sobbed.

“Does it feel good, bunny?” he whispers. “Does it feel good on your clit? Does it feel good when I do this?” he tilted the showerhead back and forth, making you weak in the knees.

“Mmh… your hole is being neglected now… let’s change that…” He chuckles as he snaked his hand between your legs from behind, slipping his fingers into your hole once again.

The added stimulation of his fingers stretching your hole while the water sprayed on your clit was enough to make your head spin. “F-fuck! Fuck!” you cried, rocking your hips.

Lucius’s tattoos glowed even brighter as you came closer, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. “Mmnh… delicious…” he moans. 

“Lucius… gonna cum… ’m gonna cum…!” you sobbed.

“Do it… fucking cum all over my hand…” he growled into your ear as he sped up his fingers. “Let yourself go, darling… lose yourself for me…”

It didn’t take you long to burst with how much he encouraged you while he stimulated you, and he moaned. “Fuck… good girl… such a good girl, bunny… Asmodeus, I’m so hard right now…”

When you came down from your high, and the overstimulation became painful, you cried out. “L-Luciuuuus… too much…!”

“Oh,” Lucius giggled as he put the showerhead back on the wall. “Sorry, darling. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks as he kisses your cheek.

“No… mmh… Lucius… I want you to fuck me…”

“I couldn’t ask for anything more, bunny.” he giggles.

He turned you around, lifting you up by your butt, wrapping his tail around your waist, and pressing you against the wall. You gasped at the cold tile hitting your hot skin and he kissed you in apology. “Sorry, love… it’ll warm up quickly, I promise.”

Wasting no time, Lucius slipped into your slick folds easily, filling you in a way that made you roll your head back. You moaned as Lucius slipped his long blue tongue into your mouth as he started to move his hips.

The two of you moaned and whined into each other’s mouths as Lucius fucked you against the wall, whimpering as his cock piercings massaged your spots and his blunt tip kissed your cervix. Your toes curled when Lucius released your lips to bite your neck.

“Ooh… mmh… that’s it bunny, fuck. I love it when you squeeze on my cock like that ffffuck fuck fuck… are you gonna cum? Are you gonna cum on my cock? Do it, bunny, I love when you cum on my cock… it’s so. Fucking. Delicious.” he enunciates with hard thrusts that made you sob. It took nothing more than his long tongue licking a stripe up your neck to make you cream hard, and his thrusts stuttered with him shooting thick ropes into your hot pussy soon after.

The two of you mewled into the air as you rode out both of your highs.

“Mmh… thank you for breakfast, darling.” Lucius giggles, flashing his pretty fangs.

You snorted. “You’re a dork.”

[magicswordszin]

Bimbo Floret Domme Respects Your Safeword ASMR

A short little dirtpost of a sex scene.

You are an independent terran of undefined gender, and you have wound up on a playdate with Hedera Lapin, First Floret. You are not surprised when things get a little hot and heavy; that's how playdates with florets usually go. But you are surprised when Hedera reveals what kind of stuff she's into. Can you really trust someone who can't remember what she had for breakfast to respect your boundaries?

cw: restraints, bdsm, threats of (sexy) harm, threats of (sexy) penetration, fucking a bimbo with memory issues

Hedera rummages in her satchel and then triumphantly pulls out her prize: a pair of fuzzy blue handcuffs. They match her lingerie! She looks at you and grins, and her expression looks like two expressions. On the surface you can see the simple happiness of a sex-crazed floret excited to make you feel good. But there is a spark deep within her blown-out pupils, something sharp-toothed and blazing hot, a monster barely held in chains, something that doesn't get much opportunity to express itself and that is panting in the anticipation of getting its claws into you. For the first time, you consider that Hedera may be into more intense stuff than you are.

She climbs onto the bed, and suddenly she is no longer quite so drunkenly clumsy. Her movements gain the easy grace of a predator. Your pulse spikes and the pounding of your own heart becomes nearly deafening. As she locks the cuff around your left wrist, your mouth finally starts to work.

"Wait," you gasp, "hold on!"

"Mm?" She doesn't sound disappointed, just curious. "What's wrong?" She pulls your handcuffed wrist to her mouth and pecks kisses up your arm, each touch of her lips jostling your mind and making it that much harder to get your objection out.

"S-safeword! Um, I need a safeword."

She pauses, thinking. "Oh! Um, that's like…you say it and it means you want me to stop for real, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"Okay!" she says cheerfully. "What's your safeword?"

"Kaleidoscope," you say. It's one you've used before, and it's not something your at risk of accidentally saying when you don't mean it.

Hedera frowns. "Um…collide…uh." She shakes her head. "I don't think I'll remember that, sorry. Can you pick an easier one?"

"P-pineapple?" you suggest.

She blinks at you blankly, then smiles again. "How about pinaña?"

"Sure," you say. What the hell is a pinaña? But it's clear that, whatever the sub/dom dynamic here, you're the one with a few more brain cells to spare.

"Hooray! I'll remember that one for sure. They're really yummy. Now," her smile becomes a little sharper, "I bet your thinking wow what a ditz, if she can't remember a word how is she gonna dom me?"

"N-not at all!"

"Liar," she growls, and swings her leg over your body. She yanks your cuffed wrist up to the headboard of the bed and pulls the chain through a convenient loop. With her right hand she grabs your other wrist and forces it into position. Instinctively you resist, but fuck she's so much stronger than she looks. The handcuff snaps into place. "I don't mind, though. I am a ditz. I don't need to be smart to put you in your place." She squeezes your biceps and tsks at how skinny they are. "I'm a lot stronger than you, but I don't really need that, either. Do you wanna know why?"

"B-because, um. You're a floret?"

Hedera freezes in place for a moment, like a record skipping, then raises a hand and swings as though she's going to slap you. You flinch but at the last moment she catches herself and her hand gently cups your cheek. "No, silly! Because you're just that pathetic!" Shame rises hot in your face. She delicately trails her nails down your neck. Suddenly, her expression erupts with sadistic desire; she grabs the collar of your shirt with both hands. There is a moment of strain and then she rips your shirt fully in half, exposing your chest. Hedera giggles and traces a finger around one of your nipples. "You're pretty," she says, and you bite down on a moan. "I wanna hurt you. Would you like that?" She's staring at your chest, mouth open, breathing hard, and you're suddenly terrified of what she might do to you if you give her permission. An affini would know exactly where to draw the line, but Hedera? You whimper and shake your head.

She leans close and whispers in your ear. "Liar." Her hands tighten on your arms, fingernails pressing into your skin. "You like getting hurt, right?" You can't deny it, but before you can answer, her hand grips your chin and forces you to nod. "You're a pathetic little masochist." She nods your head again and you groan in desperation. "So why did you lie?"

"A…afraid. I-I'm afraid of you."

She moans and grinds into you, the length of her dick hot and hard against your belly. "I'm gonna fuck you," she whispers. "I'm gonna take your cute little hole and make it all mine." She kisses your neck and you almost flinch from the touch; she grabs your head with an iron grip and holds you in place. She kisses you again, brushes your neck with her teeth, then licks you hard, pressing her tongue into your skin like she wants to pierce right through and drink your blood. Your writhe, on the edge of over-stimulation. "I wanna hit you!" she whimpers. "I wanna tie you up and cut you! I wanna fuck your pretty mouth and cover your face in my girlcum!"

Hedera plants her palm on your chest and pushes herself up, driving the air from your lungs for a moment. Suddenly she is yanking your pants and underwear off and tossing them off the bed, and she's between your legs and she got rid of her panties at some point, too, and her drooling cock points up at you. "But most of all, I wanna fuck you," she says, grinning, "so I'm gonna do that first."

Its too much too fast and your mind reels as she starts putting herself into position. "Wait," you moan, "stop." She tilts her head as though she's thinking about something, then smiles and shrugs. The tip of her dick presses into you, and you yelp "Pinaña! Pinaña!"

Hedera freezes in place for a solid 5 seconds, long enough that you worry you've done something wrong, broken her somehow, and then she pulls away, looking bashful and biting her lip. "Um, sorry," she says. "I, uh. Too much?"

You sigh in relief. "It was…a lot."

"Sorry, sorry." Her shoulders hunch and she looks like she's about to start crying.

"Hey, hey, it's okay!" you reassure her. You move to put your arms around her, but the clink of a chain reminds you that you're handcuffed. "Um," you say sheepishly, "can you let me out?"

"Yeah…" She shuffles up on her knees, slow and awkward again, and presses the latch to release the cuffs. You sit up and put your arms around her and she presses her face into your shoulder.

"You didn't do anything wrong," you say, only half-truthful because you're a little bit afraid of the consequences of upsetting a floret. "It was just more intense than I expected. You're, um, you're kinda scary, Hedera."

Her muscles relax and she practically moans. "Really?"

"Y-yeah."

She pulls away from you and looks at you, eyes still full of desire. She bites her lip prettily. "Um, do you still wanna fuck? I don't need to do all that. You could top, if you wanted."

"Yeah," you say, as the adrenaline wears off. Even if she's kinda scary, even if sometimes she doesn't seem like she's all there, she's still really cute. And seeing her react to the safe word, you're less worried about her losing control. "Yeah, I'm still down."

"Yay!" She pushes you back down onto the bed, mashing her lips into yours.

[xoxochb]

Hiii could you do a Connor Stoll x theater kid!daughter of Dionysus? Maybe like he helps her re-enact scenes from her favorite musicals (the more well known ones like Hamilton, Six, DEH, Wicked, etc.) for his cabin to distract her from the fact that her dad got recalled as camp director and he just doesn’t want her sad about it. (Maybe it takes place during the lost hero?)

⋆·˚ ༘ * hold on to spinning around, confetti falls to the ground

warnings: none

pairing: connor stoll x theater kid! daughter of dionysus

although it may be dramatic you missed your dear old dad

he had been with you for your whole time at camp half blood, but since zeus sucks forbid the gods from seeing their children, therefore making your father return to olympus from his punishment

you sit in bed reading some book you picked up from the athena cabin’s bookshelf

some old book from the nineteen hundreds, and although thought it may seem boring to others you found it quite interesting, and plus it got your mind off of your currently absent father

and it was a peaceful afternoon until the loudest boy the camp has ever seen made his way through the doorway

“hey y/n/n, what’re you up to on this fine afternoon?”

“reading” you turn the page, and connor jumps on your bed, “what is wrong with you? I told you not to jump”

he laughs at your words, “I’m sorry but I just wanted to see my super amazing girlfriend, can I do that?”

you turn to him with a glare, “you’re a piece of work sometimes do you know that?”

“you only tell me that everyday” he plants a kiss on your cheek

you turn back to your book, eager to continue reading, but you’re interrupted again

“how’re you holding up?”

“I’m fine, everyone else’s godly parents are on olypmus” you say not once looking away from your book

“y/n, it’s okay to be sad”

why does he have to know you so well?

you close your book and sigh, “I miss him”

“I know” he pulls you in for a side hug, “why don’t we do something fun?”

“you want to steal something?” you lift your head from his shoulder to look at him

“no, something you want to do” he smiles

you think for a second, “I know something”

- 🎭 -

“I don’t think I can do this”

“don’t be boring”

you had power

a lot of it

and as long as you still acted “sad” then you knew that connor would do anything you asked

so as the theater kid you are, you asked him to help perform your favorite musicals for cabin eleven

and he wasn’t entirely happy with this decision, but as long as you were happy he would do it

he sighs, “alright what’s first?”

“I’ve made a list of the order, and, I know your so eager for this part, I’ve got a few old costumes to go with them” you smirk

“hooray!” he says sarcastically

you slap his arm, “stop it, read the scripts, we’re on in ten”

he starts complaining about the short time span but you walk out of your cabin ignoring them, and make your way to cabin eleven

“hi guys” you say to the few campers in the cabin, “who wants to see a show?”

most of them give you a blank stare, but a select few raise their hands

“woah- calm down, I know you guys are just so excited for this” you cross your arms, “I’m doing it anyways, wether you like it or not, make room”

- 🎭 -

after you completed performing Wicked you flop down on an open bed

“I don’t know how actors do this for a living, it’s tiring” you blow a raspberry

“you’re the one who suggested it” connor points out

“because it’s fun!” you laugh

there’s a moment of silence before he speaks again, “are you still sad about your dad leaving?”

“a little… but I’m feeling better now” you bite your lip

“good” he smiles at you

[sweeneydino]

[Unfortunate news, Lime Meets Emerald might need to be put on hiatus till further notice due to some complications.]

Good news, I have a draft at least.

Hooray.

Any...way, Here is The Good Father AU Don when he's a teenager. Don't worry, we are jot done with baby Donnie. I just needed to get the idea out.

-slaps roof of AU- this bad boy can fit so much fluff and angst in it.

Have fun!

I'm sad :,)

[just-an-elf-with-the-socks]

Part of the “We’ve Sold Our Hearts” AU which is now an unexpected universe it seems. Melkor doesn’t want to put himself through this torture, Manwe has opinions, and Mairon’s ready to cause havoc.

xxxxxx

Melkor couldn’t stop himself from moodily staring up at the ceiling while he waited for Mairon to come back. He hated celebrating Christmas, he always had. It was always a huge affair with his family and he’d never understood the excitement of it. He’d been looking forward to spending the holidays at home with Mairon, spread out on the couch and watching trashy television.

That wouldn’t be happening.

Melkor dragged a hand over his face in an attempt to stave off the headache he felt coming on. What could Eru possibly want to talk about that warranted Melkor to come all the way out to fucking Washington for a holiday he didn’t even like?

Not to mention Melkor had been disowned almost twenty years ago for…reasons. He didn’t exactly have the best relationship with his family. To add to the ever heaping pile of bullshit, Mairon was now involved.

Once they’d gotten serious, they’d both agreed to never have either of them involved in the other’s family affairs. Mairon actually did such a good job of this that Melkor usually forgot he had kin at all. Unfortunately, Manwe always had opinions, and those said opinions always ended up worming their way into Melkor’s life.

Much to his dismay.

“Who shit in your cornflakes?”

Melkor looked up to see Mairon walking back towards the couch, his hand brushing against Minnie’s back. He noticed his partner was a little unsteady on his feet and Melkor immediately reached for his hand to help him sit down. It said a lot about how bad Mairon was feeling that he didn’t even roll his eyes at Melkor’s help; he took his hand and collapsed back into his spot.

As Melkor grabbed the blanket draped over the couch to give to Mairon, he thought about how the hell he was supposed to explain this. He couldn’t lie. Not only was Mairon too smart for that, an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach told him not to.

Fuck everything.

He sighed, gently adjusting his position so Marion’s head rested in his lap. “My dear brother graced us with a phone call.”

Marion’s face soured, his nose scrunched up so that Melkor could get a close look at the red freckles dotting the top of it. “Sounds unpleasant.”

“It was. Perhaps the worst part of that conversation was learning that my father demands I come home for Christmas next week.”

Marion’s entire body went rigid, and Melkor stroked the top of his head in hopes that it would help him relax.

It didn’t.

“You’re not actually considering that, right?”

“I might not have a choice. Manwe implied that it could very well be important. I haven’t spoken to my father in nearly twenty years, a mutual decision. Who knows what this could be about?”

Mairon huffed. “Manwe could be lying. He always was a massive prick. Besides, that’s what you would do.”

Melkor chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to Mairon’s forehead. “You’re right. That’s exactly what I would do. Which is why, unfortunately, I think he’s telling the truth.”

Hooray.

A mass of red hair nearly slapped him in the face as Mairon rolled over on his back, moving to look up at Melkor. He would have been irritated if he didn’t see that there was genuine sorrow and anxiety in those golden eyes, no matter how hard they tried to hide it.

“How long will you be gone?”

“Don’t be mistaken, you’re coming with me. Manwe heard our conversation over the phone and now he’s insistent I bring you. Unfortunately for him, he has no idea he’s letting a demon into his home.”

Mairon slapped Melkor’s leg, although it was very halfhearted. Melkor would ignore the hint of relief in his partner’s eyes for now.

“As long as we can fuck particularly loudly in the guest bedroom, I’ll follow you anywhere.”

Melkor grinned, a feeling blooming in his heart that tilted dangerously close towards love.

[thesagesjournal]

[Birthday] Oz (April 27th, 2025)

Twitter thread | Bluesky thread

...It's you. Worry not, you didn't wake me. I was just thinking about you. I expected you to come and congratulate me first thing in the morning, so I decided to wait for your arrival. ...I have come to know you better, if only this much.

Birthday Morning

Oz: Sage, why are you out of breath? Happy… birthday? Ah, I see.

Oz: …You came running to wish me a happy birthday first thing in the morning even though I, myself, have forgotten?

Oz: I must thank you, Akira.

Voicelines

Oz: Am I excited for my birthday? Not particularly. I have lived a long life. Even if another year passes by, I will remain the same. …However, I cannot overlook your efforts in preparing a celebration for me. Thank you, Sage.

Arthur: Master Oz! This sash is for you. It’s apparently a tradition in the Master Sage’s world to don one that says “Birthday Boy” for your special day, so I had Chloe show me how to make one. I know birthdays aren’t a big deal to you, but would you be willing to wear it for me?

Cain: Happy birthday, Oz! …Whoa, you're giving me these chestnuts, caramels, and canelé​ as thanks? It's okay, I'll pass. …No, really! H-Hey, Arthur? Does Oz seem weird to you? …He had too much to drink, but you gave him water, so he’ll be good in 30 minutes? Alright then...

Riquet: I made a kusudama for you just like the ones the Master Sage told me about! Hmm, I think we’re supposed to cheer when it bursts open so… Hip-hip-hooray! Happy birthday, Oz!

Snow: Sage, have you seen our dear Oz? We’re planning a grand celebration for him, but our birthday boy is nowhere to be found. Hmm… Did he figure us out and go into hiding? If so, we might have to pivot from a birthday party to a manhunt…

White: Would you like to join our grand birthday surprise for Oz? ...Oh, we’re simply planning to shower him with flowers as soon as he steps into the lounge. However, we can’t hide there since he’ll sense us, so the plan is to make a mad dash for it as soon as he comes in sight!

Mithra: Oz, let’s have a fight to the death. Wouldn’t it be an incredible story to say I defeated you on your birthday? …Huh? We can’t fight because there’s a party happening? How could that possibly be more important than me?

Owen: Oz often comes to break up our fights, but recently, he’s begun giving us candy too. I don’t know what he's scheming, but I don’t need his charity. Today’s his birthday, isn’t it? Well then, he can suck on his paltry stash of penny sweets alone.

Bradley: It’s Oz’s birthday, ain’t it? Whaddaya say we sneak into his castle and give it some festive flair? I can getcha there, but after that we can just do our own thing. …Heh, like I’d tell ya what I’m plannin’. It’s called “surprise” for a reason, ya know?

Faust: Happy birthday, Oz. Do you remember our last joint lesson? Shino took quite well to your more hands-on style of teaching. Since then, I’ve occasionally incorporated some of that into my own lesson plans. Let’s keep doing our best, from one teacher to another.

Shino: Happy birthday, Oz. After your party with the Central wizards is over, you should come to Shylock’s bar. I’m gathering all the members of “Jet Black Dawn” to make a toast for you. It’s fun to reunite every now and then, right?

Heathcliff: Arthur asked all the younger wizards to help him plan a birthday surprise for Lord Oz, but I’m worried he won’t like or appreciate it. Now that we’re this far into the plan though, I think we’ll just have to go through with it. Alright, you can do this, Heathcliff!

Nero: The Central kiddos have been buzzin’ around all day ‘cause of Oz’s birthday. …Whoa, did Cain just slap Oz on his back? And Riquet keeps tuggin’ on him, too. …They’re braver than me, for sure… But, I guess that’s just how much they trust each other.

Shylock: I have plenty of your favourite alcohol in stock today, so please, feel free to indulge to your heart’s content, Oz. …It doesn’t stop there, though. Once we get to the bar, I plan to show off my skills as the owner. I hope to keep you entertained all night long.

Murr: Ahaha, I look like a bagworm, right? I was hidin’ in Oz’s room to surprise him for his birthday, but he caught me right away! It’s kinda fun danglin’ around all tied up like this, though! Do you wanna give it a try, Master Sage?

Chloe: Ha~ppy bir~thday, Lord Oz~! …Wait, Lord Oz!? Did you hear that!? Rustica suggested I make a song for your birthday since you like music so much, so I've been practicing for it. ...You want to hear more? Well, if you say so! Here I go! This is “Oz’s Birthday Song”!

Rustica: Lord Oz, you put such care into each and every one of your conversations. Every word you utter is full of sincerity, beauty, and strength. And there is no better proof of that than the joy on Chloe’s face when you praised him. Thus, I wish you a very happy birthday.

Figaro: Y’know Oz, I really do enjoy our chats together. …I’m the only one who ever does any talking? Ahaha, you’re not wrong about that. But you always listen so attentively that I always have a good time regardless. Speaking of, why don’t we have a little meet-up tonight?

Rutile: Happy birthday, Lord Oz. …Oh, are these roasted chestnuts for me? Why, thank you. That’s so kind of you, even though it’s your birthday today. …Children need to eat? Oh, I get these caramels and canelé​, too? Wait, are you dru— No, it couldn’t be. Well, thank you again!

Lennox: Happy birthday, Lord Oz. Thank you for taking care of the sheep that wandered into your room the other day. Since then, they’ve been trying to go back… I think they enjoy the warmth of the fireplace and the comfort of your peaceful presence.

Mitile: Oww! I pricked myself again… Oh, Lord Oz! I gathered all these chestnuts for you, but removing the burrs is harder than I thought it would be… Wow! You finished the rest of them in an instant!

[kirric-the-fan]

All stars movie idea:

Big gathering of precure, big enemy. Enemy turns all the cures that were reformed villains or brainwashed back into those villains, or if the cure had defeated dark cures or dark cure equivalents, it turns them into them. A whole lot of cures are now in enemy mode and now the rest of the cures gotta deal.

Which leaves a stunning total of three teams unaffected (Grace went down bc Dariuzen was reformed- "he always was a parasite", and Dokidoki have to deal with Regina. Heartcatch aren't in mirage forms, but Dark Precure is back and that's their problem): Maho girls, Tropical Rouge, and Star Twinkle.

Maho is on damage control. La Mer is busy kicking ass, and Summer is trying to melt two frozen hearts and one angry dessert lion, and the other three are just as busy.

And the Star Twinkle girls come up with an terrible idea. As Cosmo wasn't transformed as she was never really a bad guy, they come up with the idea of making a fake villian cure in order to sneak into the villian's base and try and rescue some of the other transformed cures. With the help of Aiwan, and the reappearance of Bakenyan, Madoka becomes Luness, a moon princess with the power to turn people to stone. Ofc no-one can refute what she's saying, and they manage to hold the bit long enough to retrieve some of the cures, like Grace and Amour.

Other snippets:

Twilight back on her "You're not a princess," bullshit, and promptly getting her ass kicked by three princesses (Muse, Princess, and Majesty), before getting fish-slapped by future Queen mermaid Laura La Mer who is annoyed that Twilight is tormenting Cure Mermaid. (Twilight makes a comment about Laura not being a proper princess or queen too.)

Unlovely is back and is causing havoc, along with dark Cure Tender and Queen Mirage.

Michiru and Kaoru are back and bad

Preme is also back but doesn't seem to be inclined to fight

Heart, Peach, and Prism take their reverted Cures on one-on-one because they know they can get through to them.

Milky Rose actually gets to fight the yes5 dark cures in her cure form. She defeats dark Dream easily, but wavers at Dark Aqua

Berry and Sword vs Aqua and Beauty

"Hooray hooray everyone!", Some random dark cure: "thank you!" :) Yell: "I'm not cheering you on!"

Cure Chocolate nearly gets taken out by weird chocolate kingdom Coco

Marine loses rock-paper-scissors-water to Bad End Peace. Gets zapped.

Black and White have had their hearts frozen again, and this time their sights are set on the rest of the precure. Who don't realise what happened at first. Heartcatch and Healin Good find out what's going on.

A whole lot of team ups, working out who they need to get through to, and who they can just fight

Need Gelato and Amour to help get through to Siren (music)

Fortune flips Eas' fortune telling bit on her by telling her fortune instead.

Prism kinda realises that dark Cure Sky is kinda harmless, so long as no-one is trying to hurt her.

Michiru and Kaoru probably cause the biggest end game sort of problems out of all of them (them and Black and White), and everyone needs to pitch in to fight them at the end, and get through to the real enemy, some reformed form of darkness

Power of friendship, true hearts and precure to save the world

Preme doesn't really do anything but points out to the bbeg that this is kinda what the precure do, so there wasn't ever any point in fighting in the first place

[crystalelemental]

Figured since I've been playing Etrian Odyssey games, I'd do something silly. Tier list of the classes. This isn't strictly by their combat performance, although at times it factors in, but rather it's more about the classes I like a lot.

F-Tier

Fortress. This is intra-tier ranked, so we'll start at the bottom. Tanks in EO tend to not be great when their focus is pure defense, and in EO4, you lose the skills that block elemental attacks in exchange for middling damage. Hooray. Garbage class.

Yggdroid - I'm so sad about it, but Yggdroid is just so bad. Despite being a tree robot, it just has nothing going for it. Admittedly I don't even love the designs. I dunno, not a fan.

Necromancer - Wraiths suck, and Necromancer sucks. I cannot find a single skillset in this class that I actually think is good. The one (1) thing people talk about is "Make a 9999 HP Wraith and deal 9999 damage." Which requires too much, and conflicts with better ally row summons. It sucks.

D-Tier

Gladiator - Awful design, bit more competent as a fighter, but I'll never use it. Better as a sub-class than a main.

Landknecht (1) - I will never play EO1 again, but in EO2, why would you ever run this? Even in the remakes, I feel like Landy is just so boring.

Nightseeker - Has some fun skills, a bit of a status option, but really not my favorite by any means. I don't like the costume choices, this happens often.

Beast - I've never run one. It might be fine? But I dunno, it never clicked. It should be more interesting to me but I find it hard to project a personality onto the animal.

Medic (4) - This is a holdover class. Medic exists to carry you until sub-classes, where you instead turn them into an Arcanist and slap sub-Medic on it for an objectively better medic.

Wildling - Should be cool, I like the status/bind focus, but it got hit so bad by the bind nerf. EO2 made binds too strong, so they made you need to summon something to apply, and it's a huge skill point sink with bad damage and little utility. Postgame lets it do some stuff because you have skill points, but I never respected it.

Alchemist - Boring standard mage. Nothing too interesting to me at all.

Masurao - Way too high-risk high-reward on the damage output class, but Blade Master feels like it does absolutely nothing. I know there's Helm Splitter on petrified foes, but that is asking a lot for pretty middling damage.

C-Tier

Survivalist - Good gathering skills, I'm tempted to use them because I like archers, but they tend to lack much combat use. Generally non-preferred.

Ronin - I do not like stance skills. EO2 lets them be really good damage dealers, but I still don't love them, admittedly.

Protector - Boring knight class. Has elemental negation skills so they're really useful to near-mandatory depending on the situation. Still feels kinda bland.

Rover - Sadly, not good. Hawk rover suffers from taking too long to hit the nuke attack, which doesn't do enough damage to offset that delay. It offers too little outside of that as well. Hound is an okay healer but lacks consistency.

Bushi - Bushi is a cool animal person design, and the concept behind them is a bit more fun? They're not all-in on losing defense, using two weapons instead. My main issue is that...well, they don't do much to compensate. They have strong basic attacks and the threat of killing themselves with their own buff. I don't actually like them too much, and never got them to work, which is a shame because look at it!

Monk - I should love Monk, but I've never used it. Princess sub-Monk is the way to go. They'd be fun if their punch skills did goddamned anything, but they're so weak.

Farmer - Really cute, really effective gathering skills. No combat ability, but unlike Survivalist, kinda actually makes up for it on raw field utility.

Medic (1) - Immunize in EO1 is really funny, and in classic EO2 War Magus has no revive skill so...Medic winds up being needed. It's kinda bland, standard healer though.

Arbalist - No TP, sorry, can't use skills. Front Mortar is good damage but you get to use it like twice without healing items, and the elemental bolts suck as an alternative to magic. Really not impressed.

Warlock - Elemancer is fine, Omnimancer sucks. Mages also tend to be really bad in EO by endgame. In fact, I'd say in Atlus games broadly, magic just winds up sucking ass in most cases.

B-Tier

Ninja - I haven't ever found a use for main Ninja. It's a better sub-class than main. Just no damage output, and anything it can try to do is often done better by the other class being main with sub-Ninja. Does conserve TP, so there are a few wins, but those rely on removing Charge.

Buccaneer - Pincushion is all you're good for. It's a damn good thing to be good for, but still.

Botanist - Probably the saddest case for me. The healer route is classic healing that's pretty boring, but the Graced Poisoner should be right up my alley. It's a great idea, I love a good status bot, and they keep revive as a skill! Unfortunately, while good for conditional drops, they offer nothing in a real fight. No team-wide healing is somehow worse than no revive, and status rarely impedes a major boss the same way it impedes a mob. It's basically a dead slot in boss fights, which is really sad. Still love it, though.

Troubadour - Fun buff class. Can set elemental effects that reduce elemental damage to offset need for a Protector, and applies elemental damage to weapons to offset the need for a mage. Unfortunately, I like Gunner a lot, but removing Protector is an option I guess. Hard to slot in, is my point.

Dancer - Much easier to slot in. Loses the elemental stuff, because elemental damage is everywhere in EO4, but I always really liked the buffs, and their Chase Samba is critical to my most devastating composition in any EO game, so I'm fairly attached. Also I just really like her hair, it's super pretty.

Brawler - The bind-centric master class is divine, excellent damage and utility I rarely see. The pure damage one is another high-risk high-reward that I don't like, but can be set up to one-shot the superboss. Which is more fun to watch than to do.

Fencer - A class I love the design of, and should love the concept of more than I do. Dodge tank Fencer is bad. Like, really bad. It can be good with the right team support, though! And chain Fencer is...also bad. Chains are a lot more demanding than Links, so it's a lot harder to make it work. But it can be really good with the right setup! One of the few relatively simple superboss clears I had once we had a team entirely dedicated. Fencer runs off its team in a way that is too restrictive to be a top tier, but I do really love the concept of the fencer's skills

Zodiac - Cooler mage, just has a good aesthetic. Still falls off in endgame. But also has Charge Meteor, and Muscle Wizard set with that Ice attack from Gladiator that relies on TEC.

Samurai - Really cool design, huge fan of her. Dual swords isn't quite as high-risk as other classes lower ranked, but it does hinder her. I think sub-classing kinda saves it, with the sub-Ninja thing for massive evasion with TP recovery, and AoE attacks that can clear mobs with 5-Ring Sword to truck bosses. Takes a long time to get going, though, and 5-Ring Sword is just insanely RNG dependent.

Hoplite - Really sturdy tank in a game that needs a really sturdy tank. Hoplite comes in and does its job, but I'm not particularly dazzled by its job. It's an essential option, but I find that more constraining than I'd personally like.

A-Tier

Imperial - Cool heavy armor unit with super big burst elemental damage, adore the concept. The management of drive blade cooldown is a little finicky for me, and I really hate that it's effectively unusable for like 80% of the game, but it's a fun consideration to double back for if you get to a level 70 retirement.

Hexer - I love a good debuff class, and Hexer offers a lot of the fun utility I'm after with a combination of debuffs and status. The team can get a little passive with a Medic on board, but still.

Shaman - Buffs are another big thing I like, and Shaman offers some fun ones. I actually rank it this high because of the punisher class, giving everyone elemental affinities and then popping an opponent to debuff. Either master class can do this, but punisher can re-apply your buff as needed, which gets some great setup.

Dragoon - Buster Cannon is Front Mortar but good. Better TP conservation, way higher damage (in my experience), but also you are a massive tank who summons other tanks to draw aggro that boost your damage when they're hit. Dragoon is just so much fun with the Cannon. Shield Bearer leaves a lot to be desired, but is essential for Masurao or damage Pugilist.

Sniper - I love archers, I love binds, Sniper just gets me. And it's the only source of Scavenge in a game with pretty low drop rates!

Landsknecht (4) - Okay, we are officially in the Fun Zone. Landy from EO4 has Links, which deal elemental damage to an opponent as a follow-up to other strikes. In EO4, this is the dominant meta, because it counts per hit from an opponent, allowing Sniper and Runemaster's multi-hit strikes to combo. It also means Dancer's Chase Samba with a dual-wielding Dancer and Nightseeker can just chain combo like a billion attacks and shred the superboss on the first turn you attack. Delightfully fun class that has become very over-centralizing for me.

War Magus - By concept alone I love it. EO2 is kinda yeah sure whatever, lack of revive makes them ill-suited to healing, but the remake. Oooooh the remake. Revive spell, effective double casting, and the glorious Ailment Slash to combo with Hexer. War Magus goes nuts in EO2U, and is a big part of what puts it up here. I just love that class so much.

Dark Hunter - Another just excellent class all around. Binds are great, good damage, very similar in structure to Pugilist, BUT! Critically. Has actually excellent damage output with Ecstasy. Also, listen, Dominatrix Class that mains whips and uses binds into skills like Ecstasy and Climax? That's great, that's super creative, 10/10.

S-Tier

Harbinger - By raw combat potential, Harbinger is kinda whatever. It has good abilities for most of the game, but I feel like it's very specifically ass against the superboss, which is the major concern of every run I do. However. This is such a cool concept. Grim Reaper style frontliner with excellent debuffing or status potential, both of which flow into either good single-target or AoE damage output. It's so much fun.

Gunner - Really cool concept for a mage, I love this idea. Excellent design, too. EO2U once again bringing the best of the class with Burst Shot, a skill that hits for all elements, prioritizing damage off of whatever their weakness is. Finally, a reasonable means of defeating the elemental dragons with their own element.

Runemaster - Runemaster is actually the class that first got me invested in this series. I adore that design, and I love a good mage. And fortunately, Runemaster gets to be good all game, because for the fist time maybe ever, an Atlus game doesn't have a postgame where everything is hyper resistant to elemental damage and still have actual weaknesses. Meaning Runemaster puts in legitimate work. It's a bit of a standard mage class, but it's so, so fun to me.

Princess - Top two are pretty close, but far and away the best. Princess (no, not Sovereign) is a buff bot. Which uses heavy armor. And heals. And has elemental affinities. And is also a TP battery, recovering TP when she buffs herself and when buffs wear off. Princess rules. It's such a pretty design, it's such an effective class, and it does all the stuff I love.

Arcanist - But I do still love Arcanist more. Circles are ridiculous. Binds, status, and healing, all in one action. Combo with sub-Medic for passive recovery after battles and you've created a healer that is actually interesting. Go team. What sets it over Princess is the actually effective untyped spell that can truck enemies with high resistances across the board. Looking at you, Pumpkin fuckers. Princess can remove enemy buffs, which is definitely valuable! But Arcanist's nonsense is just even more fun to me.